Presenting...The Eagle

Aiden Anderson is the genius that keeps this place together.

Our Director of Internet Operations, he is an eternal optimist who has
lost most of his hair in the past five years working here. Referred
to as "The Eagle" henceforth.

The staff comes and goes; the Eagle brainstorms furiously in his
little office, the mind behind the show.

He has a clean, slender physique, definitely a techie type. Well
dressed. Nice sweaters. No hair, but a very nice aura. It's always
fun watching him get excited over the latest (unrealistically insane)
projections for our future success. His face glows and his eyes get
bright. It's obvious he's living for this.

He was attracted to a rebellious goth type girl (who he did eventually
marry) in high school. To impress her he tried to dress up as a
rebellious bad boy. We bring up this mental picture whenever we need a
good laugh.

Our personality types are exact opposites. He is on of those
introverted rationalists, at times oblivious to the obvious. I am
outgoing, emotional and creative. To describe our work, I use his
technical ideas and formulas as I write for the Web, incorporating
them into my writing, creating pages that are consumer friendly and
fun, while having all the right mechanical structure in the
background. I love working with my toes in both worlds.

The Eagle, like most geniuses, is a horrible manager. His staff must
be completely self-motivated and independent to produce in this
environment. He got lucky, however, and has a staff of 25-year-old
obsessively-productive girls working with him. He doesn't work well
with, or like, many other guys.

We've been trying to hire a programmer for, oh, about a year now. The
Eagle claims no applicants have meet the criteria. What those criteria
actually are, no one's really sure of.

Last week there was a brilliant looking young man (with great hair)
who interviewed, but all Aiden had to say about him was "He had a HUGE
pimple on his forehead - it was so distracting!"

I wonder. Does Aiden require clear skin for all computer/techie
positions? After all, sitting in that little dark programming room,
skin condition sure relates to productivity! Give me a break. Poor
applicant, he should have layed off the fast food before interviewing
here I suppose.

My female coworkers and I often wonder what the Eagle, usually silent,
thinks about our daily conversations about our latest vege fast diet,
complaints about bad weekends, boyfriend experiences and John Mayer
fantasies. After listening to us for years, he undoubtedly knows much
about us.

In his typical (non)management style, we do whatever we want, as long
as we produce a substantial amount of work every week. Being
micromanaged would definitely kill me after years of this
independence.