This past Wednesday was Alli’s last day. To celebrate we all went out for coffee
after work. We laughed and reminisced over spiced cider and chai lattes as we snuggled into the cozy leather couches. Stories flowed out.
Of course Alli, Monique and I had done a few "last day at work” photos in the office. As we thumbed through the digital camera we compared pictures of Alli sleeping on
her desk with ones of her shredding large signs marked "deadline", as well as ones of her web surfing, engrossed in rating photos on www.hot-or-not.com. (A favorite :)
We invited Mini-me to drop by Starbucks across the street if he cared to join us. When he didn’t show up for an hour we didn't think he was coming, but he eventually breezed in and pulled up a chair.
I have to say, that evening after Mini-me told us a tale about his former place of employment, I began to rethink his title “Mini-me”. I now think it no longer fits him. O-Space-Man (Office Space) may be more appropriate. Let me explain why.
Naturally curious about his previous employment, and comfortably sipping lattes around a coffee table, we started probing him with gentle invites to share his employment history.
Talk about a CLASSIC Office Space story! Listen to this one!
One morning in early December last year Mini-me woke up and just didn't feel like going to work (which was a programming job 4 blocks from his house.) So, he didn't go.
The next day he woke up and still didn't feel like going to work, and didn't. He woke up and didn't feel like going to work for 4 weeks. So he didn't go. Neither did he feel like calling in sick. He didn't call; he didn't e-mail; he didn't do a darn thing for a month.
His boss never called to ask where he was, amazingly enough. Christmas came and went; New Year’s came and went. Finally, early January rolled around, and Mini-me woke up one morning and (you guessed it) decided he FELT like going to work.
So, he did.
He got up around 10 am, got dressed, got in his car, drove 4 blocks, and rolled into the parking lot (around noon.) Coincidentally, as he pulled into his office parking lot, he got a call from his boss!
Sitting outside in his parking lot, he answered the call.
"Hello there, just wondering where you've been this past month," asked his boss curiously anxious.
"Oh, I've been sick...and stuff," O-Space-Man replied.
"Sick? Well, are you better?" demanded his boss.
"Yes, much better," replied O-Space-Man.
"Well then, are you coming into work?" asked his boss.
As mentioned, it was 12:00. O-Space-Man was sitting in his car, starting to feel a bit hungry for lunch.
"Sure thing," O-Space-Man replied. "I'll can be there in two hours."
Two and a half hours later (after a nice leisurely lunch) O-Space-Man met with the boss. He explained to him that he hadn't felt like coming to work because he wasn't on salary, not to mention he hadn’t felt particularly challenged by his job, and (of course) was in need of a raise. (A month of no working does drain your resources.)
Twenty mintues later he walked out of his bosses' office, on salary, with a 15% raise.
O-Space-Man stayed at that company for another year before honestly admitting
his state of absolute boredom and quitting for good. They didn't have enough challenging work for him. He needed to climb bigger mountains, contribute in larger ways, sail broader oceans. His brilliance wasn't being truly utilized!
After all, he felt guilty draining company resources when someone of lesser caliber could suffice for his position...or so he explained to The Eagle when he interviewed with our company two weeks ago.
What do you know, we hired him!
So you see, Mini-me is no longer the name of choice for this character. He is not the mini-eagle we expected him to be.
I hereby dub him O-Space-Man.